In dreams, we enter a world that’s entirely our own.

We’ve all woken up from weird dreams and wondered what they mean. In one part of my dream I was driving and my car ran off the road and kept going and going and I said to myself, “Oh well, if you can’t stop it just relax and go with it.” And that’s what I did. And the car came to a stop and I got out and started admiring the beautiful view. then I noticed someone I wanted to talk to but she started to run away and I followed in chase.  then I was at a house, but it looked different as with most dreams. It looked more like ruins right in the middle of a thick forest, and instead of low fences, the area was surrounded by high stone walls. I stood in the center of the house, and in front of me was a vast overgrown garden, with crawling plants covering most of the stone walls. I turned and realized that there was a ladder right next to me that led to a dark and creepy basement, and then I was told by the woman I was chasing in the dream that no one went down to the basement because there was a crocodile who is always hungry and would attack anyone or anything alive that came near it.

To escape the area I climbed over the walls using the vines that grew along it as I jumped to the ground on the other side There are wheat fields all around… just field after field as far as the eye can see… much like the scene at the end of gladiator. I’m there with this female I had been chasing and I couldn’t put my finger on it as to who she was this entire dream I kept thinking to myself “I know her what is her name” .. we started walking together and we came to a house. we started  walking right into this house and go up the stairs. Inside there’s a skittish guy who’s seen or done something that has greatly distressed him, and seeing us freaks him out even more. He can’t figure out what to do with us and he’s mostly just bouncing around the room trying to figure out what to do. I walk up to him and knock him out and that was that we walked back out into the fields. This girl I’m with starts talking to me about the wheat fields, and at this point I interject “so this is the part where you tie this allegory together and try to make sense of this movie?” and she laughs and concedes that’s where she was going. I walk with her some more then she stops I continue and look back and ask why she isn’t coming. she just smiles at me and waves. I tell her “I will come back” , but she tells me that she won’t be there. She then vanishes and I’m standing alone the world changed yet again to an unknown world.  I turn take an arrow to the knee, at this point I yell “damn it skyrim! f*ck your arrows”

I wake up with a cramp in my leg …

As life goes on you are subjected to many different influences. Sometimes you take a wrong turn or end up on the wrong path which causes you to lose track of who you are. There are way too many people in this world who want to take advantage of you or use you for their own gains. People will lie to you, trick you and abuse your honesty if you let them. It’s of course crazy to be paranoid that everyone is out to get you but it’s always good to be cautious of the intentions of others. Simple things like having a roof over your head, the freedom to travel or walk around your city without being shot or arrested, food on the table, loving friends and family etc. are what you should be grateful for every day. When things get difficult I like to see them as a test of some sort. It may be a test of patience, a test of belief or faith or a test of determination. This allows you to rationalize the difficulties you’re facing so that you can stop worry and focus all your energy on getting through the test as best you can. If you believe in something, don’t let others talk you out of it. Avoid negative people and nay-sayers but if you have to, stand up for what you believe in. Be prepared to fight for it.

Always remember who you are and where you came from. If your current life path is putting you in situations that you’re not happy with, make drastic changes and get back to the person who you are.

It doesn’t happen very often that i get to make someones day, and the fact that i made them smile means the world to me. when we smile it brightens the day not only for yourself but for everyone around you. now-a-days you don’t get the helping hand from strangers much anymore because society has made people a wreck and chaotic.

i guess you could say i am a rarity these days. yeah it may cost me some change but if i can make you smile well that’s enough for me. a simple gift with a simple note is all it takes and with technology you can be miles apart to make that gift happen. showing some one that they mean enough to you to do something to brighten their day and not expect anything in return …

I was asked this question: “why do you pride yourself on being a Nerd or Geek? it stands you out of the crowd.”

unfortunately the being answered their own question .. but I went further. “to stand out!” I said. I don’t want to be a part of a crowd that doesn’t understand me for who I am. just because I’m not part of your crowd and you as a person can not accept me as a person I don’t want to be in your crowd .. It isn’t that other people are necessarily dumb, and that I am smarter than them. it is that they don’t have the tendency to apply their minds to tasks presented to them. So, on the contrary, I feel as though being a nerd/geek is the highest honor one can receive. No king, or prince, or one of power can replace the feeling of knowledge stored in one’s brain.  I love being a nerd because I know I am going somewhere in life. I have a plan and a future ahead, with goals and opportunities resting at every corner I turn, and no amount of anything will take that away from me. The more information I store in my head, and the more I extensively use said knowledge to complete my goals that is why I am proud to be who I am.

Another kicker is the notion that nerds talk about nothing but nerd-related topics. If I did that, I would never get a date in my life — that chip gets turned off the moment I pull out the chair at the restaurant. We do have a standard life, you know? It’s a matter of interests over someone’s life, and yes, some take it to that extreme level. I am not one of them nor do I belittle them for doing it. i watch/collect anime, read fantasy novels, work on computers, game both tabletop and video, and as a 28 year old I still get excited about new lego sets. I AM GEEK!

I believe it’s this love of watching People the game, and having  a great group of clan members that entices me to play it more. I haven’t been this pumped to play a video game multi-player since back in the days of our beloved Goldeneye Fests and Perfect Dark Events (old archived Goldeneye Fest event post via kartmaster). The only other time i “competed” for anything was at TigerLAN at FHSU. there i played Counter-strike 1.6 and one year we almost took the championship and were out done by high-school students. this is when i decided that maybe FPS gaming wasn’t for me anymore i was getting older and decided that i would only stick to my RPG and MMOs. that was in the form of guild wars and Ever-quest 2. don’t get me wrong i still played FPS just not like i use to. when my buddies i got together for our small LAN parties we would play Battlefield 2, L4D, UT2k4, and UT GOTY. but i was never really that excited about them. Also i was playing a lot more console games and such. In the last year i joined a gaming clan i hadn’t been in a clan in years. the main reason for that is because being in a clan demands can be somewhat high and demanding and very strict rules. For the Talon Clan(www.talonclan.com) they were more relaxed and laid back yes we have rules and are strict in some areas. especially when it comes to our game nights wed and sat we are only allowed to play core games on those nights. i was recently asked if i would like to part take in an eSport team playing Battlefield 3 and i accepted.  what i thought was always part of the talon clan turned out not to be a part of them and a whole shit storm turned up and for good reason, but i wasn’t going to choose sides these are my friends and i’m not going to choose one side or the other. so here i thought all this time getting pumped up only to have everything get brought down so i decided with out really thinking anything through and just got pissed off and quit both the team and Talon Clan.

Apparently in the two hour span of me quitting and just going offline, the council came up with a compromise and i was ask to not resign, apparently in the short time that i have been in the clan i have become and valuable member of the clan (according to our elder) and that means more to me than anything else. so i decided i had made a mistake and went back to the clan. they decided that the toxic rangers would be a section of the Talon Clan a special ops section that would be held to higher standards and more strict rules which is understandable but at the same time holding the same values and ethics of The Talon Clan. it wasnt until recently that i was recording our game nights and posting them to our forums i wanted to get better and its helped a lot to improve my game play and my clan mates give me great advise and i listen to them, but its very hard to break old habits and i’ve been working on them. my BF3 stats have greatly improved. My K/D ratio is in the 80 percentile which is a vast improvement to 40 percentile in battlefield bad company 2. also with BF3 the new class system is great i mainly play support which means i carry the LMGs and i offer out ammo (which is something i’m working on throwing out ammo cases). Play the class and earned me the name spray noob. playing on a server once and i bunkered in and started throwing suppression fire so my squad could flank. basically this mean i have 200 rounds an i just lay on the trigger not even aiming and the enemy ran out into my line of fire and died. they started calling me a spray noob.  most of my points however come from suppression fire. when you get a kill you get 100 points, in the last round i played i was getting 50 points suppression and 50 points damage equal to a kill. what does this mean … my K/D may not be high but my points show otherwise.

being this excited to compete again has me all nervous at the same time. this is also something i’ve always wanted to do and that is to play competitively. We play to have fun, and we play to Win! What’s at stake for our Matches are sponsorship’s for Toxic Rangers, Cash prizes and above all Honor! wish me luck!

i started a new server using the buildcraft mod. I must say i really like this mod and its a lot of fun to play.so over the next week this is all im going to be playing with is the buildcraft mod and we will see how it turns out.

also i built a new house on my new server here it is day and night …