a lot of times i get asked why i do not attend church, the short answer is i just do not like people. i guess i should say i just do not like being around people i do not know and have no real desire to get to know them, because i am only going to see them once a week.  no offense to those people they are probably good people. i am so use to being by myself its just natural for me to be that way. also when i am in an area with people i do not know i just get the feeling they are judging me one way or another.

the long answer is i have had a falling out of going to to church and it all started at my home town church. i do not even know what it was that caused it but one day i was not welcome at church any longer and the preacher wanted nothing to do with me.  i had several experiences with the different churches while at college one was just to far out there for me. by too far out there i mean standing up singing a worship song say a prayer another song, a reading a few more song stand up dance around. i am sorry if you go to churches like this i just like sitting  down and hearing a message so i can go home and reflect on that message and see what that message means to me. i am old skool. one church i was asked to leave because i made a statement one time about how i believe evolution is a work of God. does that mean i believe we came from monkey’s? no it does not.

my love for science is something i can not ignore. do i believe the earth was built in 7 days, no. However ask yourself this question. If God is all powerful and all knowing does he exist in our frame of time. no he doesn’t 7 days to God could mean 4.54 billion years to us. our sense of time is because we are mortal we die. what is time to a being that can not die? … am i right or am i wrong? who knows i can not claim any proof one way or another. only my speculations and what i want to believe is what i want to believe. each of us was given the free will to choose and the freedom to believe in our faith. i choose to believe what i see and what i find as truth. i am not going to go out there and tell everyone they are wrong we all have a choice to believe, but trust me there is no end to the line of people that like to tell me i am wrong.

as in my previous post, the bible teaches us to love each other. it also sets a list of guidelines to follow as we live our life and i believe if we live the best we can that is all we can do. if you do not like where you are heading in life switch directions open a new door. we need to love everyone, do not judge for it is not our place … and so i leave you with this.

Weep not for roads untraveled
Weep not for paths left alone
‘Cause beyond every bend
Is a long blinding end
It’s the worst kind of pain
I’ve known

Give up your heart left broken
And let that mistake pass on
‘Cause the love that you lost
Wasn’t worth what it cost
And in time you’ll be glad it’s gone

Woah-oo-oh-oh
Woah-oo-ohh
Woah-oo-oh-oh
Woah-oo-ohh

Weep not for roads untraveled
Weep not for sights unseen
May your love never end
And if you need a friend
There’s a seat here alongside me

Woah-oo-oh-oh
Woah-oo-ohh
Woah-oo-oh-oh
Woah-oo-ohh

what i do when i need answers i turn to what i believe is the truth of our lives. There are so many similarities among the religions people ignore. they forget why the words were written it wasn’t to be used as proof people are wrong. to point out someone else’s fault, because you believe differently. its to remind us there is hope, and it starts with letting go and living free of worry, free of the bitterness, be happy with what you have and loving each other. having a true smile. that is what it says … but no one truly sees that. i have lived a long time with nothing but hate in my heart. only recently have i begun to see what that hate has done to me. so i have begun the fight to let go of everything that i hate. no reason to hold on. no reason to never smile again, that hate prevented be from ever knowing what a true smile is.

Growing up was very hard for me. not having any true friends. going to school each and every day being made fun of for thirteen years by kids all i wanted to do was be friends with. For some reason i was not allowed to have those friends i was destined to be alone. My life has never been easy, but no one really has an easy life. my life is no different than anyone else’s life. but in my eyes it always look greener on the other side, however there is someone out there that sees me in greener pasture.

I have come to terms and im ready to share this with anyone that wants to read and if you disagree with what i have to say that’s fine i’m not posting to say i’m right you are wrong its not how i do things i’m posting my view and if you dont except it that fine by me you can leave.

i have had one person i have always kept close to me and that is my grandfather, grandpa salem. he is a man that lived for his family and worked hard to make that family happy. i can never remember that man without a smile on his face i never could remember him ever being angry. i’m sure my mom or my aunt and uncles may remember differently since he was the one that raised them. i was after all just his grandson. he was a good man taken from us too early. i believe we each have a start and finish in our lives and between those two points we have paths and doors to choose. we get to choose our own paths some are easier some are hard. some are right some are wrong, but we never know which until we choose. do i believe in God … yes i believe there is a God … do i believe the bible is the say all live all … no … to me the bible is a book of stories written to remind us how to live. However taken out of context the bible can say things that make people believe one thing over the other. just like anything else that is taken out context. that is how it is people translate and interpret differently. our problem is that the scriptures  should only be interpreted by us for us not by someone saying “this is how i read it so you must believe it the same way as i do”

i read some where cant remember where but something stuck with me…

Jesus taught two really big things “love one another.” and “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone” you know whats interesting is that Buddha said “Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.” then we have the Jews amazing even yet “Love your neighbor like yourself.” Second, “Examine the contents, not the bottle.” how about the Hindus you say “Do not get angry or harm any living creature, but be compassionate and gentle; show good will to all.” last but not least and you may hate me for adding this BUT Muhammad taught “A true Muslim is the one who does not defame or abuse others; but the truly righteous becomes a refuge for humankind, their lives and their properties.” also, “Do you love your creator? Love your fellow-beings first.”

they all taught to love one another. what do we do; well not that. They never said, love everybody except for (fill in the blank) they taught us to love each other not to pass judgment that is not our place. for each of us will be judged upon when it is our time.

all anyone today cares about is themselves or they only care about what they think is right and wrong when comparing their lives to others. we try to force everyone to see tunnel vision to only see one path, but that path is not the same for everyone. i sat down awhile ago and decided i didn’t want to follow everyone else’s path i only want my path that’s the only path i am going to be happy with. i let go of all those thing i hated about those kids i grew up with i forgive them for all the crap they put me through because later on in life i have met quite a few people who know the true me that know i am a good man. i can be myself with them. i don’t need the approval of anyone anymore. i am living my life for me one step at a time.closer to getting my true smile

so as i ponder how i want to say the rest of what is in my heart i leave you with this:

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Buddha said “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” …. coincidence probably not