Why I Love Fantasy

There are many things I love in life. I love my friends. I love big asa foam cups full of iced- black tea in the morning. I love music, I love that the space bar will pause Youtube videos.  I love all of these things and never have to defend that. one thing I occasionally do find myself defending is my love of fantasy.

In a way I understand, on its surface, a genre packed to the gills with elves, dragons, and wizards — not exactly grown-up. For those not too proud to explore a work of fantasy and not too dense to look beneath its surface, the fantasy genre is a rich addition to the literary, film, and television canon because it explores very real human problems and desires by creating allegories through which to explore them.  My love for fantasy books started when I was a kid and when i picked up a small paperback book, Trey of Swords by Andre Norton. I use to have a copy, but I have since lost that copy and would love to find another copy. as a kid I was forced to read books. I hate nothing more than being force to read books. I want to do it on my own so I always picked short books. I became so enthralled with the book i read it several times over. I could relate to the characters and their struggles and I just wanted to keep cheering them on. It is a most basic human urge, the age-old, universal desire to overcome our limitations, to soar and to unlock hidden powers within us. in fantasy, things matter. People matter. Decisions matter. There’s a point to events. There’s a sort of beautiful order to things, and there’s the comforting knowledge that everything will be okay when the story ends. Sure, sometimes there are unhappy or tragic endings.

Fantasy can be so many things to so many different people.  Sometimes simple escapism, a release from the daily trudges of life. Sometimes it’s about an idea, pushing those ever buzzing questions of what if to new and thought-provoking limits.  Sometimes it’s about characters, about what people do in a situation beyond their control of imagination.  Sometimes it’s about the world we’re in, dressed up in another guise, sometimes it’s about a world that might be, sometimes about a world that was.  the stakes in a fantasy story are often the highest possible – the continuation or destruction of the whole world. Fantasy stories are painted on the broadest canvas – they are, or at least can be, epic in a way that no other genre can achieve. Hence, epic fantasy. And epic themes require epic stories, multiple volume stories that allow authors to build and describe worlds with a level of detail that makes them believable, immersive, and – if done well – ultimately makes the reader fall in love with them. Whatever you think of fantasy, there is usually something in it for everyone, and lots for me.

Computers suck…

Owning a computer can be an amazing experience. These tools that have by now become commonplace are opening the world up, and only a user’s imagination is the limit. As with many complicated tools, not many are familiar with the workings of their computers. This can lead to misunderstandings and cause minor panic when things go wrong. the endless debate over whether or not to leave your computer running, defragmentation, Screen savers, and If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Modern computer hardware is robust and has many features designed to keep it working despite user error. Especially useful are the ‘Energy Star’ power-saving features, which allow any user to configure easily their computer to ‘go to sleep’ to save power when not in use, yet be available in seconds when needed. This is quite unlike previous years when it took quite some time for a computer to ‘boot’ to a usable state from a cold start – hence the practice of leaving the computer running all the time. Rapidly cycling the power – working the power switch as if you’re being paid by the click – is a bad idea for many electronic devices, including computers and monitors. If you’re talking about ordinary use, however, the only problems you’re likely to encounter stem from differential thermal expansion. Things get bigger as they warm up and smaller when they cool, and different components in a computer expand and contract by different amounts. The resultant mechanical stress can, theoretically at least, break traces on circuit boards and cause similar havoc. In the real world, thermal problems with personal computers practically never have anything to do with differential expansion, but instead stem from lousy ventilation. Hot components, hard drives in particular, can barbecue themselves into an early grave. But these failures happen pretty seldom, these days, and modern hard drives are very unlikely to suffer motor or solenoid failure on startup. An old drive that’s developed “stiction”, where the drive has a hard time spinning up, should be left running all of the time. But that problem’s never been common and is now close to unknown Now, the only reason to leave a computer on 24/7 without some form of ‘sleep mode’ is if you are running programs such as BOINC, which use ‘spare’ CPU cycles when your computer is sitting idle.

You don’t need to defragment your hard drive very often. Modern Defrag apps which position program data according to how often you use it can, indeed, improve performance a bit, but there’s no reason for even a heavily used computer to be defragmented every week, or even every month. Yes, it’ll be faster if you do. But the difference will probably be tiny. When computer files were first being written to consumer hard drives, those drives were agonizingly slow compared to their modern Serial Advanced Technology Attachment a.k.a. SATA descendants, so sorting the files into neat bundles gave a measurable improvement in speed. Hard drive performance makes very little difference to system performance, on machines with adequate physical RAM. The difference in performance between unfragmented and moderately fragmented drives is small, and the larger the drive, for a given level of file system activity, the less fragmentation it will suffer. Purists or power users who wish to eke a few more percentage points of performance from their highly-tuned setups can still defragment every few months, but the majority of users will not see any marked speed improvements if they do it more than a few times a year.

The screen saver is a modern art form. But what it isn’t, any more, is a way of saving anybody’s screen from anything. In days of yore, monochrome monitors were quite susceptible to a phenomenon known as “burn-in” or “phosphor burn”. An image shown on the monitor for a long time – a default menu, for instance – would burn in as an incurable ghostly image. Some monitors are potentially still susceptible to this, but only if the image has been on the screen for a really, really long time, which is something that just doesn’t happen in most applications. All you need to protect your screen, of course, is to blank it; again, current PCs with their standby features make it easy to save electricity as well as the screen.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. What if it is broken, only you can’t tell it is? Tales of woe abound about computer users who’ve been bitten in the past by applying a recommended patch to a piece of software, only to see that software break or foul up something else on their computers. Sounds like a good argument for skipping patches. There’s just one problem. Today, a recommended patch is often, even usually, meant to close a security hole. Not installing it is tantamount to parking your car in a bad neighborhood at 2 a.m. with the windows rolled down. Vendors may release updated versions of software to address problems or fix vulnerabilities. You should install the updates as soon as possible; some software even offers the option to obtain updates automatically.

As we start to use technology more and more as the norm. more myths and stories are going to arise. Do not worry there is always someone out there willing to point you into the right direction.

Gaming, Battlefield 3, it’s what I do

Sitting down and trying to figure out what I want to write about today, and my mind came up blank. I am in a better mood today even though it’s raining and I epically failed to jump over the same puddle 3 friggin times.  Tonight is another toxic rangers match we are up against an opponent that should prove to be better than the last team. last match we rocked them hard.

Battlefield 3 has been a blast to play I remember back in the days of counter strike 1.6 I was pretty good at that game. After awhile I quit playing pc games as my main source of gaming I stuck to the ps2 and GameCube.  Battlefield 2 came out I was playing it a lot but because of my lack of playing First person shooters I sucked at it horribly. I was convinced that may days at pc gaming were over. then came guild wars and everquest 2. I have played guild wars to the point I just don’t have anything left to play in that game. everquest 2 I played until about 2007 and then went on an almost 5 year hiatus and I have been playing it again. about a year maybe year and a half ago I joined a gaming clan. they are Talon Clan at the time I joined they were playing Battlefield Bad company 2 another game I utterly suck at. as you can see here at bfBC2stats. I normally do not care about my stats when playing games like this. as you can see my Kill/death ratio was a .45 that means I died a lot more than I killed. I was an affective distraction for my squad mates/teammates and that’s how I played that game.

Battlefield 3 is a whole different ballgame, this game I’m pretty good at and I’m improving exponentially. I dominate at the support class. With the addition of suppression points I have become a vital component of our team. I can keep the enemy pinned down while my squad mates flank.  another thing about support is on a map called operation metro, there is on spot that if I’m able to get to and have time to get in prone and bipod up my light machinegun I am just a death machine no one ever thinks to check that hallway they just rush in and I can get 5-6 kills before they start throwing rpgs at me. playing the support class has gotten me a new nick name “spray noob” because I was called spray noob by another player because he ran into my line of fire. I wasn’t even trying to kill anyone I was just laying down suppression to distract them. not my fault they ran into my line of fire. I have also been getting better at c4’ing tanks, and every time I do I have to laugh maniacally. I may have an evil side to me yet.

another thing about BF3 is that I have been ask to join a team to play competitively and they are the toxic rangers an elite group within Talon that started this year to play competitively. we currently are ranked 26th and need to be rank 16 or higher to be invited to the tournament. we have 4 more weeks left of the season so anything is possible. if we don’t make it this was a big learning experience for everyone.

Are you in a funk? … why yes I am.

I woke up in a funk today and I am very unsure of the motive behind that funk.  I guess you could say my mood is depressy (yes I just made up a word for my mood, get over it) I slept hard last night didn’t even hear the thunder last night. normally the sound of the first clack I’m up and alert I hate thunderstorms. However not last night I was having a very vivid dream there were storms in my dream.

I was with someone, and I knew them. we were together, but no one wanted us together people from our past and people from our present were haunting us and trying to pull us apart. trying to rip us away. this whole time I could never understand why some many disapproved. was it their jealously, their hatred, or was it some kind of force driving them mad! It was a bitter fight the entire time, but we prevailed trial after trial. then darkness arose; storms and shadows begin to emerge and unpleasant feelings came over me.   you know that feeling you get that sends chills down your spine, those feelings.  as the darkness came my vision grew faint voices were heard, but not understood. next thing I know I’m alone, the shadows retreat my sunshine; my light was taken from me! as my vision comes into focus the normal setting is coming back, but one element missing my anchor, the one that gives me ground. all that remained was an amulet their favorite amulet(you can tell my passion for fantasy leaks into my dreams) I grab it and it begins to glow pointing in a direction. it was showing me my path, this path would lead me to them. it’s all I can see now the path in front of me I take my sword (again passion for fantasy) from the mantle from where it hung and set out to find my light; my anchor so that I can be whole again.

it was a dream of dreams; normally I do not remember them being as vivid but these last two dreams. I cannot forget. I am thinking this is why I am in a funk today this dream was not a happy dream at the end, and I awoke with anger in my thoughts . it was just a dream I keep telling myself that yet I cannot bring myself to forget it. a lot of people can brush off their dreams I am a person who loves his dreams. and it could be that is just the artist in me. I gain insight for my artwork that I post over at deviantART from my dreams. I also believe dreams can also bring us warnings or foresight about our lives.  I’m not saying we are able to predict the future with our dreams, but through our dreams our subconscious can show us things about what’s currently going on.  I whole heartedly believe that this dream is my mind is trying to tell me something but for the life of me I cannot figure it out, oh well I will just continue to go on with the way things are.

life and living it

“What are you planning for the rest of your life?”

it’s an odd question to think about. life is only surviving; living is more than that. To me living implies following your heart and also has a sense of the unexpected, the things that happen and you would have never imagined they would. That’s living, truly. I have only recently began thinking this way. as I look back to my past and look over everything I have done and one thing I have noticed is that I have simply just been surviving only worrying about those around me and never thinking about how I should live. some recent events have taken place that has opened my eyes. I’m tired of just surviving I’m tired of just being depressed.

I have found someone that inspires me. and I hope to never lose that someone. I have been writing again and I have been enjoying it and I can’t wait to write more! it makes me happy even if only a handful of people read what I’m writing and if it can in some way help them escape the drones of everyday life mission accomplished.

As a child, I just assumed everyone was the same. Growing up I was put in a circle that made me different from everyone else I grew angry and hateful to these others and that’s all I could ever think of. today I look back and laugh at it because I am who I am because I was able to overcome that. now I’m not saying that it doesn’t still hurt knowing I had very little people I could depend on growing up, and to this day I would never ask them to ever apologize to me I don’t need it they were horrible people and I don’t need their approval. it took many many years to accept this truth. I was still just surviving then. you move further on I’m on my own and truly think I’m on my way to happiness and the rest of my life. the problem here though there are people out there that are out to just crush people when they get a chance. this takes a long time to recover from and you will never truly recover from it but you don’t have to let it define you.

as I was continuing to just limp along barely making it along an opportunity comes knocking. normally I just decide to ignore it and let it pass, but this time I did not. I have finally started climbing out of that hole I dug.  no longer am I going to being anyone’s stepping stone nor am I going to let anyone else be my stepping stone! I will take a shoulder to lean on from time to time that is what we real friends are for.  I want to quit only just surviving I want to finally start living and I’m moving forward full steam ahead if you are willing to get out of my way or step up beside me I’m going to leave you behind.

My Skyrim Misadventures … evil spirits

I venture on to Markarth, as I enter the city a citizen goes insane and beats what appears to be a peasant woman to death right there in the streets. I pay no heed to this, Markarth I noticed right off that it didn’t appear to be a good city. Most of the city’s residents tend to be quite unfriendly to outsiders.  At one point as I was exploring the city I saw two skeletons and as a guard stop and looked at me and then looked up and said don’t trip. Apparently this city has had two, TWO people fall to their death from the stair case above. you would think they would install a railing or something. Nope they just let the rotting corpse lie and just tell visitors “don’t trip”

I had decided to just leave I was getting a bad vibe.  As I was walking to the gates A Vigilant of Stendarr asked me if I had seen anyone entering/leaving the house. He believed that it was being used for Daedra worship. I should have said no and kept walking, but no, I who have to help people in need as the arch-mage I must help set an image for the mage’s college so that the people would once again trust them. Upon entering the house, Tyranus comments that it shows no sign of old age, despite the fact that nobody ever enters or leaves. The whole house emanates a strange white fog. Immediately after he stops talking, a noise comes from downstairs. He lead me to a door, then asks me to open it. The door is locked, and triggers dialogue from a mysterious Daedra, who claims that I was stronger than Tyranus, and ordered me to kill him. I refused. Tyranus told me to leave the house first, but the entrance door out is magically sealed! The whole house starts to shake, and items fly about the room. The voice commanded me yet again to kill Tyranus. Tyranus gave in to his panic and attacked me, so I was forced to kill him in self-defense. Once he was dead, the voice congratulated me, and instructed me to descend farther into the house to claim my “reward”. I had no other choice to obey, because the entrance door is still sealed. going deeper and through a hole in the wall into a subterranean tunnel leading to an altar with a rusty mace upon it. the voice demanded that I take the mace, I didn’t want the mace I didn’t want to be here, but I had no choice. as soon as I grabbed the mace this triggered a spike trap, which locked me in place. great I thought I’m going to die The voice reveals that the rusty mace is his Daedric artifact, the Mace of Molag Bal, desecrated and left to rot by a priest of Boethiah. The Daedric prince is very unhappy with the fate of his weapon, and commanded that I lure Logrolf the Willful, a priest of Boethiah who has been desecrating Molag Bal’s altar in Boethiah’s name, to him so he may break his spirit.

Great now I’m a servant of an evil spirit. I was released. I had learned that the Forworn have Logrolf. Now rescuing Logrolf went without incident I went charging in with swords drawn and found Logrolf. YAY I thought about time something happens like it should. However Logrolf refuses to be set freed! He doesn’t believe that I’m here to rescue him. I had to bribe the bastard to get him to leave!  After all that work I had to give him 300 gold pieces just to get him to move. By this time I was no longer upset I was taking this being to meet his doom.

We re-enter the Abandoned House, and Logrolf immediately runs off to the basement. He was trapped in front of the altar like I was, and was bantering briefly with Molag Bal. The Daedric Prince then gave me the rusted mace and commanded me to beat Logrolf into submission with it. so I did I beat the A-hole into submission. then I killed the bastard and took my gold back. now not only am I the Arch-mage, I am now the champion of an evil Daedric prince. Great some warrior mage I am. The people are going to friggin hate me!


hangin with old friends

Saturday I went up to Salina to visit some old friends I had not seen in what seems like ages. was not really looking forward to the drive up there, but it turns out to be a really nice drive once you hit the interstate it is a breeze. It is a much more enjoyable drive than going to Wichita. One drive I am eager to repeat in the near future.

As I made it to Tom and Carver’s place. I phoned carver and he was not there he was out and about with his girls and buying Lamp guts. so I sat out on the steps enjoying the nice weather. I’ve also learned this weekend that Carver has become a local Kingpin, he organizes the theft, I mean the “acquisition” of certain “abandoned” properties through the use of his force powers, apparently when you enter university for a PR degree they teach you the ways of the dark side … how I missed that I will never know!

so we hung out most of the day talking computers and nerd stuff, that’s what we do, we are GEEK!  Also I donated a Motherboard, cpu, and ram to hopefully help Carver get his computer back up and running. it was the guts of my old gaming computer and just sitting around collecting dust. as evening progressed I needed to move on besides Carver had a fancy dinner to go to!

On my way out of town I stopped by one more place Logan’s Roadhouse. Thanks to my shining influence from family guy I had to restrain myself from yelling “ROADHOUSE” and performing a round house kick to the face every 5 mins. A very dear friend of mine just started working there as a waitress, she is an awesome waitress, no matter of what she thinks. You are awesome! I had some fish(I can’t spell the name of the exact fish I had) it was good I was thinking it was going to be a bit spicy, but I forget what is spicy to “normal” people has no real effect on me. It was delicious regardless. I also had some sautéed mushrooms with and some fries gotta have my fries … to end it all off a slice of cheese cake New York style it was good, but my homemade from scratch is better. it filled me up and I walked away full!  I will be back!