Normally im glad to see the weekend come around …. but this weekend im ready to get over with it started out ok … but when i got home i gots a flat tire …. i think i just need to get new tires sad this is these arent even that OLD!…. and ive had two side wall ruptures!

then i find out my brother has been using my bed and i wont touch it with a 40 foot pole now … and there are no clean sheets that will fit it so guess ill be sleeping out in my car…. ugh and this is only friday!

cant wait to see what the rest of this wonderful weekend will bring ….. stay tuned!

UPDATE!:
I now have furniture in my house no more sleeping on an air mattress! but i still have a lot of unpacking i thought i was done with that …. i was wrong …haha. but im one step closer to being settled in..

i was trolling the archives and realized biebs’ world turn two years old back in April. its amazing im still writing after all this time my first post was actually about my computer i cleaned up the cables on the inside of it to help with air flow.

Now im here two years later still writing. i can tell my ability to write has gotten better over time and my ability to think and stand up for what i believe has grown. i use to be afraid of expressing things in front of ppl. now i just love to talk and listen to others. there is power in words that we speak when spoken correctly.

Words are powerful because they enable us to communicate. They are like knowledge batteries, holding their charge until they are slotted into place. Written words unleash their power when they are plugged into the mind of the reader. I am no award winning author … i dont even use proper spelling or grammar when i write … not because i dont know how …its because thats the way i write.  when writing you may see me misspell words like “the” i spell it alot of times “teh” i like it that way. im a computer geek a large part of my vocab when wirting online i use to use alot l33tsp34k, in forums and IRC chat rooms i still use it in the IRC chat rooms when im chatting to old internet friends ppl i have never met but still part of that underground community.
i just enjoy writing and will continue to write even when no one comes back to read what im writing…

some of you may know that this last weekend was the wedding of my best friend. its was a great weekend i haven’t had that much fun in a long time. it was good seeing ppl i hadn’t seen in a long time and meeting new ppl.

I even got a brand new pillow out of the trip. I cant complain; the trip in the car however sucked i hate driving id rather walk if im in the car for more than an hour i get stiff then i start to fall asleep, thus why i always have the stereo blasting to keep me awake, but over the years that is causing me to lose my hearing. oh well id rather lose my hearing than fall asleep at the wheel.

i still haven’t been able to get my furniture moved maybe this weekend i don’t know we will have to see. it stormed again this morning and instead of the storms moving north eastward they were moving south eastward. which is weird they never move that way and they didn’t seem to be as strong, i think it was because they were being fueled by northern winds that carry in the snow in the winter. not the tropical winds that bing us the storms in the summer even though they were thunderstorms they were not that strong.

again great weekend! Congrats to Matt and Andrea for starting that next chapter in your lives.

OH! also i hope the house keepers enjoy that Woodchuck cider i forgot in the mini fridge in the hotel room the two whole bottles that were left! I bought those things i hope you enjoy them!!!

I decided to go out and sit on my porch for a while  to enjoy the evening air. I have come to the conclusion that sitting on my porch will be so much more fulfilling when I get some porch furniture and some interwebz. Oh and bug repellant damn gnats were bothering me because they suck and have nothing better to do other than bother me.

I’m really starting to enjoy living in La Crosse because its rather peaceful and I don’t have any annoying neighbors the two that I have one happens to be a retired teacher and he has been rather interesting to talk to the few times our paths have crossed. My other neighbor is a farmer who happens to be 68 years old who only comes out to farm and goes back home to Illinois or Missouri (wherever he is from I can’t remember) over the weekends so I’m pretty isolated on my lil corner.

I noticed something while sitting out side was next door on the water tower there was a group of turkey buzzards or I think that they are turkey buzzards. I came back in the house and snapped these pics.

Any ways they are there about every evening just huddling together it’s kind of creepy.

my brand spanking new hard drive caught on fire yesterday and I’m not even sure why some I’m RMA’ing it today.

It’s been almost one week since I moved into my new house ands I’m still not settled is going to be at least 2 more weeks before I will have my furniture right now I’m just making use of an air mattress and the bare necessities.

Work is going great this is the first job I really enjoy and I’m glad I was given the opportunity to have this job I’m learning a lot and I’m also learning that I’m a perfectionist when it comes to designing. I guess that is just me though I’m that way with every thing from my artwork and writings to working on computers everything has to be done just right and sometimes its frustrating sometimes, but fun none the less.

Normally on my blog I tend to not write about certain aspects of my life. In this post I’ve decided to bend the rules a bit. I have got a lady friend of mine one I care deeply about and am glad to have the friendship that I do have with her, however, I’ve a bit of a crush on her and I’ve been afraid to tell her how I feel about her in fear that our friendship will cease to exist. as some of you may know about the one a few years into my past there was another that I cared about and she ripped my heart out and tore it to shreds after I told her how I felt and I haven’t talked to her since then.

So I’m being very apprehensive about telling this friend my true feeling about. I feel so much like I’m in high school again. However I value the friendship I have created with each and every one of my friends each friendship is unique in each its own.

Now I know this decision is only one I can make however I do enjoy insight from any one willing to give some. Do I tell her or do I just not tell her it’s a difficult problem that has cons and pros of each. Not knowing exactly how she feels about me makes it even harder to throw in a curve ball like this….

http://lightcontrast.wordpress.com/

not sure how long that site will stay up. LightContrast, is going to be leaving us for awhile she will be missed.

so here is my farewell

keep in touch!

im going to be trying this out on my sandbox it first before actually implementing it i want to see how it works and if it works great im going to install it on the server b0X3n and actually use it.

http://www.thezpanel.co.uk/index.php

I every once in a while, feel like I’m not in my body, but watching it. I might be having a conversation, but that’s not actually me, not my consciousness. my consciousness, stuck in my brain racking over a conversation I had a week ago, a month ago, at some point in my life. searching for a hidden meaning, thinking of a better comeback, analyzing why I said what I said.

Hopefully this is making some semblance of sense, I get the feeling sometimes that the English language simply doesn’t contain the words to explain some things.

This experience leads to an overwhelming feeling of loneliness.

This usually happens at periods of high stress in my life and I will be stuck in this vision for days on end just racking over numbers, events, conversations I had weeks ago, and other things from my memories that I have long forgotten. its like my brain decided to sift through its data and comes to a crawl because nothing ever makes sense of it at all.

Even sitting here trying to write this it becomes hard to concentrate because my mind tends to go on a tangent I find myself wandering back into that world that sits just out side of reality. sometimes (more like once in a blue moon) these feelings I have lead to some kind of inspiration for my art or writings. Most of the time they do not, but aide to my insomnia. thoughts race through my mind at a blink of an eye. sometimes they are clear others are blurred like a speeding train. this sense of restlessness is what keeps me awake trying to figure out: why am I thinking about this, why did I do that, why cant I solve this puzzle…. it infuriates me because I cant make sense of it.

after awhile everything goes dark and it passes but the time frame to getting to this darkness varies it can be mere seconds to days ill be stuck in this trance. I am sure I’m not the only one that experiences this but sometimes it feels like I am and no one to talk too…

Bikini Buck-off

click to view the album. it was a fun weekend.

i flew out to Kansas City to visit my friend Katrina she was participating in a contest called the Bikini Buck-off it was a fun contest to watch and she won to make it even better. in this contest they had to some how be sexy while riding the mechanical bull it was fun. (sorry gals if my weekend adventure offends you but im sorry i dont care i was having fun!)