my place in this world

5 years ago. If asked the question what I thought I’d be doing 5 years from that moment … I probably wouldn’t tell you owning a house having to live paycheck to paycheck. Barely making ends meet. Getting screwed over by an employer that completely changed my life for the worse. Back then I was just a student.

Many may argue that it was for the best but I would not. I would tell you that is how my life is one big disappointment after another. When I was a kid I would dream to be some kind of adventurer. I had but one passion adventure … one of my favorite things to do as a kid was to delve into my own world that created a place I could go away from everything in this world.

As I grew older I walked away from that world and stepped into reality I’ve learned what I’m here for. We are all here for a purpose. My purpose seems to fail … every time it feels like I was able to get a step ahead I get throw back down to the bottom of the pit.

I started to notice is about the time I got into college … no matter what I tried I couldn’t get ahead … I started out great but then I met a professor that tried his best to prevent me from graduating this professor graded on how well he thought you deserved to pass … he failed me 3 times in 3 different classes that only this professor taught.

So I had to change my major slightly to bypass those classes. I did manage to graduate in 5 years instead of 4 like I planned. Many of my friends had graduated one year before my … it was high school all over again. After graduation I moved home went to work for Dollar general and was given a management position. Now I didn’t make much money there but I was content. I was able to buy a new car. Then I was offered the best paying job I have ever had. Finally a giant step … I was able to purchase a house and life was good then not 8 months after I was hired … the bastard fired me and ruined my life once again. Thrown back into the pit I start climbing again.

I feel as if I’m just a stepping stone for other people. I feel as though I’m not meant to succeed in anything I do. That my place is to fail so that others can win their way to the top. Someone has to lose not everyone can win the race. I hate feeling like this and writing is one way I vent about my frustrations. That’s one reason I started this blog.

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