For some reason tonight this is all i could think of I’m not even sure why. A lot of things got me thinking about life taking a risk one that can change your life forever. it’s amazing how one simple yes or no decision can change everything you know in this world. i got to thinking really what the difference in taking a risk and making a mistake is… where is the line drawn there.

It’s a gray area really. if one really want to pursue everything in life you have to take a risk and that risk has two outcomes either its a good choice or a bad choice, but even if it does have a good outcome it can still have a disastrous out come in the long run.

every choice; every decision one makes sets off a chain reactions activating the many paths we can choose to take, unlocking those doors. As these paths and doors are opened just as many are closed never to be opened again. one could never take the risk because of this fact. like myself i tend to stay where its comfortable and never try to change those things because it make me uncomfortable.

I recently made a decision that is going to change my life, for the better i hope, but it’s at a risk. I, myself tend to try and calculate (yes i always try to bring math into my decisions) the different outcomes that can happen. I try to think logically about my decision I made. I also forget that i failed my logic class, twice in fact, in college so i should learn I’m not good at making a logical decision. and that most of them I have made are spur of the moment and it has worked out so far.

However one can never predict what your choice is going to do until you begin to walk along that new path. Until you come to that next door you wont be able to decide to wonder from that path and see whats out there. One has to explore your area get a feel for it, or fall flat on your face. if the latter happens one can only pick their self up and move forward never turn around and never look back its in the past you cant do anything about that and you CAN’T change your mistakes you made. You shouldn’t let them haunt you they will only bring you down.

As you grow up and as a kid people tell you to chase after that dream of yours, run after it, well I’ve come to a unique way of thinking over the years. listen to people talk, listen to what they say, but don’t follow them. they can offer advice based on their experience and most of the time your experience will be different it will never be the same if it were something is not right, you are probably stuck in the matrix. Friends come in handy in sticky situations they will listen offer advice. they, however, cannot make your decision only you can do that.

I have been chasing a dream for as long as I can remember. My dream is to be someone. known by many people for some reason I think I need to be a some kind of “Hero” to be come part of society, to be accepted by society. I do not know why I keep chasing this dream, I guess it has to go back to when I was a kid. I’ve never been part of the “crowd” always an outcast and I’m not even sure why its so important to be part of that crowd.

after all these years I still catch my self reaching for this dream running after it. Well something came to me tonight that has allowed me to finally grab that dream and crumple it up and throw it away. I realized I don’t need to be part of that crowd. I have my own crowd, my group of friends and family thats all I need. they are my crowd. the ones that I have formed a long and trusting relationship. there are people I would got above and beyond out of my way to help, its nice knowing there are people I know thats would do the same for me.

I realized that today, when I called the one person I always call when I’m being bothered by something. why do i try so hard to be accepted … when I’m already accepted? I wished I knew that answer one of life’s great mysteries. I also learned to never chase after a dream again. Did You know you’re chasing a dream when you’re working extremely hard, struggling to make it happen and the goal keeps eluding you. Why you might ask? ……..When you chase after something, it wants to run away, but when you stop chasing, it comes right to you.

Life shouldn’t be a struggle, one should be able to enjoy life. If you find yourself working hard and getting disappointed every time you round that corner ask yourself… are you trying to hard to chase that dream, because you will never catch it. now I’m not telling you stop pursuing that dream because if you do that you will never reach it. I’m just telling you to not try so hard. this has taken me to long to finally realize I don’t need to impress anyone I’m already accepted in my own circle and I’m better off that way…